A Life Coach on Masculinity & Finding Strength in Vulnerability

There is strength in vulnerability. Many men in our culture have been taught to associate showing emotions with being weak. For example, more than one-third of boys think society expects them to be strong and tough, “be a man,” and “suck it up,” according to a survey by Plan International USA. It’s time to change that.

In this episode of Breaking the Bias, Consciously Unbiased founder Ashish Kaushal sits down with Pervis Taylor, award-winning life coach, & author of “Surthrival Mode” for an unplugged conversation about the need to redefine masculinity and finding strength in vulnerability; normalizing mental health in the workplace; why leaders who act with empathy will have more productive employees, and much more.

Listen here for the full conversation with Pervis and Ashish, and read on for six key takeaways from Pervis.

1. FEELINGS CAN BE A PATHWAY FOR HEALING. “For many of us as men, the culture mandates that if you deal with your emotions, that’s deemed feminine…But if you want to have peace, if you want to have joy, if you want it to see the other side of [a trauma], you do have to deal with your emotions.”

2. LEADERS WHO MODEL SHARING HELP CREATE AN INCLUSIVE CULTURE. “Transparency creates an environment for sharing. When you’re transparent and vulnerable, you create a space for others to share and be vulnerable as well.”

3. IT’S OKAY TO BE TIRED; JUST DON’T GIVE UP. “Being tired is not a sign of weakness…It’s a sign you need to recharge. When you exercise, you get tired. When you do anything, you get tired. But that doesn’t mean that you quit. It means that you take a break and that you get back in the game. If you quit, what about the people whose lives we’re supposed to impact? It’s bigger than you.

4. REFRAME WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS TO BE STRONG. “Strong is actually acknowledging your emotions and experiencing them and knowing how to process them. We have to reorient what we mean when we say ‘strong.’”

5. EMPATHETIC LEADERS INSPIRE DEVOTION.  “When you create a safe environment, and your employees feel that their emotions are valid, you will get more performance out of them than you even asked for. You’ve established that your employees matter. You’ve established that their voices matter. Leaders have to be compassionate and have empathy. That’s going to lead to increased loyalty.”

6. CARING FOR MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS CARING FOR PHYSICAL HEALTH. We need to normalize and look at mental health from a standpoint of maintenance rather than illness…When we go to the gym, that’s maintenance for the overall health of the body. Why do we not look at mental health the same way as maintenance of our mental wellbeing?  It’s about normalizing and reframing mental health.”

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